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But then, Mark, my husband who NEVER orders dessert, got three huge cookies for the table to share. And I figured that since I'd already eaten some gluten I might as well let it all go. So I had a bite of the oatmeal raisin cookie with icing. YES! I DID IT! I DELIBERATELY CHEATED!
Maybe it was because I was eating emotionally – I’d been feeling a little down earlier. Maybe it was because I’ve never cheated before and I wanted to know what it felt like. Maybe I just wanted a bite of the damned cookie.
Well, I only had one bite. And I felt guilty about it - for about a minute. And then I went back to cleansing from that moment on.
I stepped out on that ledge and took the dive, but I popped back up on the surface. It was a minute-long detour in a 21-day program. And I'm not going to call myself a failure because of that.
Yeah, maybe you've lost some respect for me. And maybe you think my cleanse cheerleader pep talks are bullshit. That's fine. I guess I might, too. But I learned a great lesson by doing what I did: That food doesn't have to be an all or nothing proposition; that a teeny bit of something can be satisfying enough - there's no need to eat the whole thing; and that one or two bites of a taboo food doesn't spell the end of the world. You just have to dust yourself off and start over again.
Our cleanse buddy Jenny says that every day and every moment is an opportunity to turn back in the right direction – for both the small and the large detours. So that's what I'm did – I turned back and started over.
And I learned that no cookie (or any other food) is going to make me feel better about - anything. But spending time with my friends and hearing from my cleanse pals later that day was more satisfying than anything I could have put in my mouth.
Each time I cleanse I learn something new. I guess that's why I'm still so enthused about the process. I hope you feel the same way!
Have a great Day 17!
Cleanse buddy Jen needs to heed her own words - aaak I cheated! I did so well Sat out with friends. Only had seltzer water- yay! Then last night over at my daughters' for dinner...was passed a small glass of wine and -there I did it-booo! In my defense, it was a beautiful Zinfandel that sang to me....I heartily believe that if you're going to cheat it should be worthwhile. BUT - I am back on the horse (or the wagon LOL) today and gunning for the home stretch. Please forgive my little oops!
ReplyDeleteI think you have a beautiful point, Jen - if you're going to cheat, make it worthwhile. And all is forgiven - that's the point. We have two choices when we cheat - either keep heading down the wrong path, or start over again. There's no sense in letting one glass of wine overshadow what you've been doing for the past 16 days, so shake it off, look ahead, and keep on keepin' on!
ReplyDeleteIt is getting really tough to do this with the activities on my calendar. A huge oops is awaiting me tonight as I am obligated to go to a banquet for retirees; on Saturday a graduation banquet for my nephews, and Sunday is Mothers' day and we are taking my mom in law out for brunch. That will be the easiest one of the three! Restaurant choices I think.
ReplyDeleteI had a scheduled colonoscopy yesterday and after the procedure the Doctor put me on a high fiber diet! Does that fit with what we have been doing or what!!! Yowza!!!
I plan to continue this type of eating especially since I now have so much more stuff in my cupboards to eat. Problem with the this diet is that it takes much more thought and preparation. You can't come home late, thaw a steak and throw it onto the grill with some veggies.
I am glad to have been invited to join your grip and un-learn bad eating habits.
Thanks Ivy!
Hi, Lois! You've really had your hands full throughout this cleanse but you've handled everything so gracefully. I hope your banquet went well (sorry I'm responding to this so late -I didn't see this post until today). And I hope that Saturday is nice and easy. Remember that you're done after Saturday so Mother's Day brunch is fair game! I'll be interested to hear what you do.
ReplyDeleteInteresting about your colonoscopy - did you tell your doctor about the cleanse? If you did I'd love to hear the response. And a suggestion - if you haven't been using the psyllium that I've written about a number of times, give it a try - it's amazing and really works! Super high fiber!
I love to hear that you're going to continue on with some of our cleanse behaviors - only good can come of it. I know it's a more labor intensive, but the payoffs are worth it.
And it's been wonderful reading your updates - you really have come through this process so beautifully! You should be very proud of how well you've done! Thanks, Lois, for being a part of this!